6 Steps You Can Take to Escape the “Clean Plate Club”
“Aw, come on, what is this?” I asked my partner, Alexander.
It was late in the evening, and I was getting ready to dig into the remainder of the bag of sour cherry candy.
…But when I opened the bag of gummies, there were only about five left.
“Uh, that was you,” he replied.
I stood in stunned silence for a moment before it finally registered. This was cause for celebration!
I had been eating the cherry candies the previous night. And I didn’t measure any out—I was watching tv and eating them straight from the bag.
But when I felt satisfied, I stopped eating them, without consciously noticing how many were left in the bag.
Me! I did it! I ate as many pieces of candy as I wanted, and then I stopped eating. It didn’t matter that only a few remained. I didn’t eat them.
To a lifelong intuitive eater such as Alexander, this might not register as an accomplishment.
But I was a lifelong plate cleaner. Not just plates. I emptied chip bags. I polished off cookie packages. I scraped ice cream cartons.
And I taught myself how to stop.
I spent so many years overeating and feeling out of control around food that I’m very familiar with the feeling of guilt that washes over you when you’ve told yourself you won’t eat the whole thing…but do it anyway.
…breaking the same promise over and over and over again.
I know what it’s like to feel powerless against food. And to feel disappointed in yourself for letting yourself down again.
To think: “Why am I so weak? Why can’t I just stop?? This is all my fault.” 😔
It’s not your fault, though.
Not being able to stop eating is not simply a matter of willpower. And it certainly doesn’t mean you “don’t want it badly enough.”
So what’s actually going on? Why is this such a hard habit to break?
What is a Food Scarcity Mindset?
The overwhelming majority of the time, the individuals I coach who are plate cleaners do so because of what I call a food scarcity mindset.
Scarcity is the physical and mental constraint of having less than you feel you need. A food scarcity mindset is the sense that you don’t have enough to eat, and it leads to feeling preoccupied with food, while reducing your mental capacity, processing and decision-making, and self-control.
I know what you might be thinking: isn’t this just a fancy way of saying that you’re still hungry?
No. Because you can feel physically satiated and still desire more food. You can still feel like you didn’t get as much as you wanted. A food scarcity mindset pertains to your mental satiety. I define mental satiety as feeling psychologically satisfied with what you eat. It means when you feel full, you’re not still thinking about what you want to eat next, either immediately or for your next meal.
A food scarcity mindset can be triggered because of physical lack though, and can arise whether or not the initial deficit was within our control. Some people may have experienced food scarcity as a child, for example, because their family couldn’t afford enough to eat (food insecurity), or because their food was restricted by their caretakers. And the fear of not having enough food can persist into adulthood.
But dieting is a common and self-imposed trigger for a food scarcity mindset, in which the dieter chooses to enforce restrictions on the food they are “allowed” to have: what types of food, how much they eat, and/or how often they eat.
Seen through the lens of a food scarcity mindset, cleaning your plate makes perfect sense: if you’re worried about how much you have or when you’ll be able to have more, you’ll want to take advantage of eating as much of the food as possible whenever it’s in front of you.
And once the habit has been ingrained, whether it arose in childhood or adulthood, it can be a tough one to break.
But as I can tell you from both personal experience and my experience as a coach, it can be done.
Here are six steps to trade your food scarcity mindset for a food abundance mindset so you can stop cleaning your plate:
1. Include a balance of both fun and fundamental foods in your diet.
Fundamental foods are the foods you want to make up the foundational majority of your diet. They're foods that are mostly whole, minimally processed, rich in vitamins and minerals. Think in the vein of fruits and vegetables, whole grains, lean protein, nuts and seeds.
The purpose of eating mostly fundamental foods is not only health but also because they tend to be more satiating. The more physically satiated you feel, the easier it will be to stop eating.
Fun foods are ones that are more heavily processed, typically containing more added fats, salt, and sugar. Think chips (crisps), sweets, fast food, fried food, and the like.
Eating fun foods in moderation won’t negatively impact your health. And by purposefully including them in your diet, you’ll reduce or eliminate the feeling of restriction that leads to a food scarcity mindset, leading to overeating.
2. Toss out your food rules.
Diets (not your overall diet, I’m talking weight loss protocols) are rich sources of rules telling you what you should and shouldn’t eat. These rules are all designed to restrict your eating. You may have even created some of your own. Diet rules sound like:
Target calorie or macronutrient goals
“No foods with added sugar.”
“No eating after 6pm.”
“Bread is only allowed once a day.”
“You can’t eat more than other people in the room.”
But diet rules create fear-based thinking, and the inflexible restrictions often lead to increased food cravings, overeating, and distress around eating. Rigid diet rules can also lead to rumination on your diet and the feeling that you’re constantly thinking about what to eat and what not to eat.
The only foods you need to limit or eliminate in your diet are ones that cause adverse health reactions (i.e. allergic reactions or flare-ups) or ones that you don’t enjoy eating.
Getting rid of your food rules, just as in #1, will help to release the restrictions you have around food, easing your food scarcity mindset and bringing you to a state of mental abundance.
3. Mindfully eat and savor your meals.
When we don't eat mindfully, we're disconnected from our bodies, which means we’re not paying attention to how we feel physically or emotionally. The primary result of disconnection is we can often overeat because we're not paying attention to our hunger cues. Remember that physical satiety is important to staying out of a food scarcity mindset.
But another downside of not paying attention is that we feel less satisfaction from our food. In addition to experiencing less pleasure, this can also lead to overeating. The number one result that my students see from the practice of eating mindfully is that they tend to eat less, even when the food is hyper-palatable (so tasty it’s hard to stop eating).
4. Practice urge surfing.
Once you have filled up on fundamental foods and eliminated your food rules so that eating fun foods is now okay, and you’re eating them mindfully, you’re going to need to practice sitting with the urge to finish your plate.
If this is a deeply ingrained habit, this will be a tough step. A lot of people have never actually tried sitting with an urge before.
To start, acknowledge that a craving is what you’re experiencing. Focus on where and how you feel this urge or craving. Maybe you’re feeling tightness in your chest or a strong “pull” in your stomach. Notice the strength and duration of these feelings. Do they come and go or do they get stronger over time? Ask yourself how you’re experiencing these urges and cravings in terms of your thoughts and emotions. And then give yourself a few minutes to observe and to breathe through these feelings and sensations. During this time, visualize your breath as a surfboard gliding across these thoughts, feelings, and sensations.
5. Cultivate a feeling of nourishment and self-care with your meals.
When we’re recovering from the damage done by dieting, one of the mental shifts we need to make is to remember that our food choices are not punishment for the way that we look. In a diet mentality, it’s easy to fall into thinking that you’re not enough, and never will be until you finally reach a certain size. Therefore, food must be restricted to achieve that goal.
But what if you allowed food to be one of the many ways you care for yourself with love and compassion?
No matter what, you deserve to be nourished with healthy food.
What can you add to your diet that would feel good? What foods give you energy, make you feel light and satisfied, and help you stay full?
A food abundance mindset involves believing that there is an abundance of nutritious options available and that we can make choices aligned with our well-being without feeling deprived. It empowers and encourages us to make sustainable choices we feel good about while eliminating the fear of deprivation or missing out.
When you stop looking at what foods you can limit or take away as a means to escape or change yourself, and start looking at the wholesome, beneficial ways it can add to your life, you’ll be one step closer to a food abundance mindset.
6. Speak compassionately to yourself.
Cultivating self-compassion is vital for fostering a positive self-perception, which plays a crucial role in developing a food abundance mindset to replace one of scarcity.
Instead of berating ourselves for slip-ups or perceived failures, self-compassion allows us to approach setbacks with kindness and understanding. It encourages us to learn from our mistakes and make healthier choices without resorting to self-judgment or harsh criticism.
By embracing self-compassion in our nutrition journey, we create a supportive environment that fosters growth and resilience, and cultivate a healthier relationship with food.
And that’s as simple and as complex as the process needs to be.
But I know firsthand how much our own internal chatter can get in the way of putting these ideas into practice, and how disorganized the process can feel when you’re trying to go it alone.
That’s why I created the Food Body Self® program, to walk people through the process of overcoming overeating. Our hybrid setup combines lifetime access to visual and audio course materials, group coaching, and private calls for the most immersive experience—and unbeatable student success rate.
By developing a food abundance mindset through the steps outlined above, you can experience reduced instances of overeating, feel less preoccupied with food, feel more confident in your decision-making around food, and improve your sense of self-control.