You’re Not Doomed to Be Who You Are Today

The phrase “I am who I am” is an easy tell to identify someone who’s shut themself off from personal growth.

Here are a few possible translations: 

“I don’t believe I can change.” 

“I’ve tried to change and failed.”

“I don’t want to put in the work that change would require.”

People who say “I am who I am” generally do so to excuse undesirable behaviors.

But guess what?

You can change any of your personality traits. You can become someone who’s less impatient, closed-minded, irresponsible, anxious, inconsistent, or rude.

You can also change any of your abilities. You can become more organized, creative, or diligent…or you can become fantastic at ping pong, a skilled singer, or a faster typist.

And you can change your relationships with your food, your body, and yourself.

“I’m not ____” or “I can’t ____” only means “I’ll never ____” if you don’t actively try to improve. 

If you feel stuck, it’s not because you can’t change—it’s because you don’t want to, you haven’t tried, or you haven’t found the right supporting toolset.

Change goes both ways.

You can change for the better, or for the worse— depending on what actions you repeat.

The person I am today is different from who I was 5 years ago, and a different person than I will be 5 years from now, or even a month from now, because I choose to not stop growing.

For example, I used to be painfully shy. But shyness wasn’t serving me. I didn’t want to feel afraid of every new social situation or interaction. So I actively worked to face my fears and to change how I felt and how I saw myself, until I reached a level where I now feel more comfortable and at ease in social situations.

I have many other examples. To name a few, I used to binge and purge. I used to hate my body and myself. I also used to be more stubborn, lazier, and less grateful, until I actively worked to change all of those traits.

So, what does that kind of personal growth take?

You need to identify what you’d like to change, formulate a plan, execute, and garner feedback—which is the exact kind of structure and accountability you get inside Food Body Self.

It’s not magic. It just requires practice and guidance.

The next time you slap a label on yourself, consider what your words really mean, and how they may be holding you back. 

You are who you are, but you have the freedom to change.

Note: This article was originally published on March 10, 2019 and was revised on February 3, 2023.