How to Stop Overeating Without Using Willpower
“Live your life as if you had no willpower.”
Sounds like pretty good advice, right?
Not to me.
The premise of the article I’m quoting was: you need to make concrete plans so you don’t need to rely on willpower to follow through on said plans.
Now, don’t get me wrong: if you want to go to the gym after work, I think it’s a great idea to pack your bag in advance and let your partner know you’ll be home a little later than usual.
And I know how seductive it is to believe all you need to do to see your plans through is become a better planner.
But you already know, deep down, that planning is not your problem.
→ You can tell your partner you’re going to the gym…but if you don’t want to go you’ll still skip your workout.
→ You can delete Facebook off your phone…but if you want to check it, you’ll just use your computer.
→ You can create a budget for Amazon shopping…but you can always justify something you really want.
Additionally, this kind of thinking: “I need to restrict myself to behave better,” often completely backfires when it comes to food.
Restricting access to your favorite foods can increase your cravings for them, making it even more likely that you’ll overeat them the next time they are around. If that sounds like a recipe for disordered eating, it is.
Relying on your willpower to avoid such foods is obviously not the answer.
But can you see why relying on planning or “designing your environment” by restricting your access to trigger foods is not the answer either?
It’s because whether you’re trying to stop yourself from eating certain foods, get yourself to go to the gym, or spend less time on your phone…neither your plans nor your environment have anything to do with the CORE reasons why you aren’t taking positive action.
Imagine this…
What if you could have all your favorite foods in the house AND know that you wouldn’t be tempted to binge on them?
THAT is what happens when you address your relationship with food. Your motivation to eat.
You can’t experience food freedom if you keep thinking of yourself as an animal that needs to be chained around Oreos or Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.
But a healthy relationship with food doesn’t come from simply building up your willpower like a muscle.
So, here are:
5 Ways to Stop Overeating Without Relying on Willpower
Observe Your Emotions
Many times when we overeat, it’s to avoid an uncomfortable emotion, like frustration, guilt, shame, boredom, anxiety, sadness, and so on. The next time you feel a craving arise, try pausing for a moment to ask yourself, “How am I feeling right now? What am I thinking about?” You may have trouble identifying anything at first. That’s okay. The more you practice tuning in to your body’s signals and your inner dialogue, the easier it will be.
If you can identify an uncomfortable emotion, ask yourself, “What does this emotion need?” For example, if you’re feeling guilty, maybe you might like some reassurance. If you’re feeling lonely, you may be looking for genuine human connection. Once you have that information, you’ll have a second path of action to consider (and see how food won’t relieve your discomfort).
2. Remove the Restrictions
If you have a known trigger food, you’ve probably tried to restrict it before. The more yellow tape you place around the food, the less confidence you’ll have around it. When you develop a relationship of “forbidden indulgence” with a food, it heightens both your cravings and the amount of guilt you’ll feel for having it. Although it can be scary at first—and you may continue overeating the food at first—the only way to remove a food from its pedestal is to allow yourself to have it around.
3. Practice Compassion
Your instinct when you overeat is most likely to criticize yourself. I’ve been there. I’ve used every nasty insult you can think of on myself. And you know what? Belittling myself never inspired positive change, only more shame.
Many people believe “going easy on themselves” will cause them to spiral out of control, but that’s not the case. Although it seems counterintuitive at first, being compassionate with yourself when you take actions that aren’t aligned with your goals will actually help you get back on track faster.
4. Eat Mindfully
The next time you choose to eat your trigger food, see if you can introduce a bit more mindfulness to the experience. Check in with yourself to see how you’re feeling and what you’re thinking. Note your hunger level. Take in the food with your senses: sight, smell, feel, taste. What else do you notice? Flavor profile, texture, temperature. What is the first bite like? When do you anticipate the second? When does it feel like you’ve had enough? What is the sensation of “enough” like? How does your enjoyment change throughout the experience? How does your hunger level change?
Many of our Food Body Self students find that when they increase their level of mindfulness when eating, it slows them down, increases their pleasure, decreases the overall amount eaten, and prolongs their fullness.
5. Elevate Your Mindset
If I had to guess, I’d say you probably think about eating your trigger food as some kind of transgression. Sometimes we label foods as “forbidden.” And often, we think of eating them as “bad” as if we have somehow crossed a moral boundary by eating a food.
Thus, we feel as though we must punish ourselves for eating them. “No more!” we declare, placing the food off-limits until the next accidental transgression.
Or we swear to only eat lean protein and vegetables for the rest of the day, or vow to over-exercise the calories off.
Now here’s a (potentially) radical idea for you:
What if you thought of eating your favorite foods as something really special? As an expression of self-love and self-care?
Here’s an example of how that might sound: “A part of taking care of myself means creating experiences for myself that bring me joy and this food makes me so happy. It’s really special to me and I do my best to make the experience of eating it special so I can enjoy every aspect of it.”
With that being said, this will be the last time you and I refer to it as a “trigger food” and start calling it plainly a food.
Planning ahead is great.
Designing your environment for success is great.
Building your self-discipline is great.
But none will help you get to the core reasons why you feel out of control around certain foods.
And to tell the truth, this article might not either. Maybe it hit the nail on the head—maybe you’re emotional eating or over-restricting or eating mindlessly. Maybe your food mindset could use some improvement.
But maybe there’s something else. To be fully transparent, I don’t want to pretend a single piece of writing can sum up all the reasons someone might be overeating.
However, if you’re interested in doing some digging with an expert in healing food relationships, Food Body Self group coaching is a supportive container for you to work with a coach to uncover the “why” behind your current food behaviors, and the “how” behind the ones you want.
If you want to turn your trigger foods into simply “foods,” the first step is going to come from seeking out the core reasons you have an unhealthy relationship with that food in the first place.