Should You Compare Your Body To Others?
Life is swarming with opportunities for you to compare yourself to other people.
At work, at home, at the gym, and on Instagram alike, you can’t get through life without comparisons inevitably cropping up.
Whether it be your health and fitness progress, current body shape, exercise ability, alleged happiness, or eating behaviors, comparison runs deep in the human mind.
We’re always scouring the gym, the internet, and in-person social groups for people to contrast our supposed successes and failures with—physical or mental.
Comparison is an evolutionary predisposition.
While comparison often arrives with negative connotations and the premise that it is the “thief of joy,” it’s important to consider all aspects of comparison.
Through discovering what we compare and how we do so, we’re able to craft a mindset that frees us from the confines of social pressures, external validation, and values that don’t align with our own.
While, at times, comparison can be to our detriment, it can, at other times, also point us toward the direction of self-improvement, happiness, and long-lasting health behaviors.
With that in mind, let’s take a closer look at the idea of stacking ourselves up against one another and see how we can utilize comparison effectively.
What is Social Comparison?
Social Comparison Theory was first presented by psychologist Leon Festinger, who proposed we make comparisons to define and evaluate ourselves [1].
Festinger’s theory puts forward that our determination of our social and personal worth hinges upon how we match up with other people.
He asserted that we evaluate our abilities and opinions to reduce uncertainty. If we’re unsure of a belief we hold, or a particular performance level, we seek out the beliefs and performance levels of others, until we can distinguish where we stand.
It’s why we’re always wondering if we’re deadlifting properly compared with others, and why we use others’ body shapes as an indication of where we fit in with perceived societal standards.
It’s been further hypothesized that there are two types of comparison: upward and downward [2].
Downward comparison involves comparing yourself with someone you identify as “worse off” than you; upward comparison involves comparing yourself with someone you identify as “better off” than you.
People will often engage in downward comparisons to make themselves feel better (i.e., “I can run faster than her”). This often occurs when people feel their self-esteem has been exposed, or their identity is under threat.
While often exhibited for positive reasons, downward comparisons also hold negatives, too. Knowing your situation can decline, or that you could also end up “worse off” can equally elicit negative emotions. For example, cancer patients who discovered that others with the same illness had deteriorated were reminded that they, too, could regress in their recovery [3].
Most people, however, are predisposed to compare upwardly (i.e., “I’m not as lean as him”).
We want to know how we’re performing in reference to those whom we perceive as doing better than us.
From longing to look like a sibling or best friend to comparing body shape and size to someone on social media, upward comparison repeatedly nourishes unrealistic standards, unsustainable reserves of motivation, and dangerous attempts at aiming to look or feel like someone else.
Importantly, these are often not accurate comparisons, either.
People quickly forget the long list of reasons—genetics, opportunity, untenable timeframes, health-sapping restrictions, and Photoshop—that means someone may look a certain way and why striving to look like them is, subsequently, flawed.
Additionally, basing our self-worth and self-esteem upon others’ physical appearance may lead to harmful and unsustainable dieting tactics.
Just as there are negatives to downward comparisons, however, there also exists a handful of positives to upward comparisons.
Comparing yourself with others who are seemingly “better off” may provide hope and inspiration. For example, those who exercised alongside someone working “harder” than themselves were more likely to mimic the exercise behavior of their partner [4].
It’s clear that comparison is a double-edged sword.
On one hand, it appears we need it; we lack the structure upon which to live our lives in its absence. Comparison also serves, in a positive way, to lift us to achieve more—and acts as a platform to gauge our opinions and progress.
On the other hand, comparison can coat us with feelings of hostility, jealousy, and other difficult emotions. We may feel inferior and worse off when we consider our body shape and size—and our progress—against that of others.
We are not so much defining comparison as “good” or “bad,” therefore, as showing how it’s reliant on our perspective of each situation.
This is about how you use any comparison and act upon it.
Why Do We Care About the Way We Look?
One of the most prominent comparisons we engage in is pertaining to our physical appearance. It’s only natural to care about the way we look.
Unfortunately, when we place too much importance on our body shape and size, we become embroiled in unrealistic expectations and the feeling that we’re not keeping up with everyone around us.
Given the scope of heavily-filtered images and posts we’re exposed to, it’s no wonder that people perceive others as happier, and leading “better” lives—especially regarding physical appearance [5].
From lower perceived attractiveness, to body image concerns, to feelings of missing out, we chase elusive goals and ideals in the hope of matching the people we’re frequently exposed to.
Historical and cultural influences, interpersonal experiences, physical characteristics, and personality traits all combine to shape the perceptions, beliefs, thoughts, and feelings we possess about our physical appearance.
And, given these standards of physical appearance have continually shifted over time, it’s no wonder men and women are both affected by media ideals and desire certain looks.
It’s why women are increasingly aspiring to be muscular and lean rather than just “thin” [6] and why there exists the recent proliferation of men displaying increased levels of body dissatisfaction, too [7].
When we succumb to these idealistic physical narratives, we can’t help but compare —both upwardly and downwardly—our body shape and size with others around us.
Should You Compare Your Body to Others?
Comparing our physique—and other health and fitness behaviors—with others can be a dangerous game to play.
The excessive focus on how people look can lead to constant thoughts about our own body, leading to disturbed self-objectification, judgment of self-worth, and feelings of shame and anxiety.
This, of course, can lead to disordered eating patterns, the neglect of other areas of our lives, and a negative body image.
If we want to keep up with—and look like—Fitpro Sally From Instagram, who possesses a lean and muscular physique, we’re going to do everything in our power to get there, even if that means undertaking unhealthy exercise habits or dangerous eating behaviors.
The constant desire to look up to others contributes to unrealistic ideals of how we’d like to look and act, not least meaning we forget all the other important and valuable aspects of our personality and worth we possess.
Not only do we find ourselves measuring up against a constant state of beauty and glory but also buckling to the loaded world of “fitspiration.”
Unfortunately, avoiding making harmful social comparisons isn’t as simple as following the advice “don’t do it.”
And, subsequently, making these comparisons isn’t always detrimental, when used effectively.
It’s been found that perusing images displaying body positivity on Instagram can enhance satisfaction with one’s own body [8]—and posts that expose “real” images as fake disrupt the social comparison process and actually reduce body dissatisfaction.
Using the accomplishments of others to inspire our own efforts slots into the definition of a growth mindset. If we see others succeeding with their health endeavors, then it has the potential to motivate us, too.
Instead of feeling threatened by others’ triumphs—a characteristic of a fixed mindset—we believe that we, too, can remodel our own lives and behaviors to achieve the same level of success.
Other people’s physical achievements no longer force you to tackle your own shortcomings, thereby making them harder to deal with; instead, adopting a growth mindset prompts you to learn from that same person.
While we must be careful of how we make certain social comparisons, it’s clear that, when used effectively, certain observations and correlations can prove beneficial.
How To Use Social Comparisons Effectively
Use The 3 C’s
Just as we can learn from analyzing our squat technique or journaling our thoughts surrounding food, we can scrutinize and decipher when we’re making comparisons and ascertain whether they’re helping or harming us.
First, we Catch It.
Ask yourself who you’re comparing yourself to and whether these are helping you to achieve more or simply damaging your self-esteem and confidence.
Bringing this self-awareness to your social comparisons will enable you to see whether these are biased and caked in unrealistic standards and unattainable ambitions.
Secondly, we Check It.
We can dig a little deeper into that comparison and decipher whether comparing our “worst” to someone else’s “best,” or whether there are other facets of that person we simply don’t know about.
Is using someone else’s photoshoot photo—when they’ve dieted hard for the past twelve weeks and had their photos professionally edited—a fair comparison of your sustainable, healthy journey?
Ask yourself, “Why am I using this other person’s life to determine my self-worth and standards?”
Thirdly, we Correct It.
Should we establish that this potential comparison is harming us, we can work to change its meaning and reshape it into something helpful.
Can we determine what’s potentially inspiring about that comparison? Can we not necessarily look at the end result of that photoshoot, but work on replicating the hard work and skills involved in the process?
Ask yourself, “How can I use what I see to feel empowered and drive my own skills and journey?”
Use It For Self-Improvement
Canvassing the achievements and progress of others can prove advantageous when we use it to shape our actions and beliefs.
For instance, it’s been found that comparing recipes can expand food choices [9], and certain exercise-related, social media posts can inspire others to exercise more [10].
When people view self-improvement as attainable, compared with others, it often triggers a form of “leveling-up motivation”—which improves subsequent performance.
Whenever you feel a twinge of unhealthy comparison arise, it’s imperative to flip the switch.
Rather than end up besieged by feelings of jealousy, or wonderment, you become determined to use the lessons learnt from their journey, to better yours. Analyzing others to ascertain what’s possible—and not possible—alongside focusing on how you can reach the end goal, are untapped corners of the comparison world.
Through cultivating this self-reflection, you’re focusing on what matters (the process) and what doesn’t (the finished product).
You’re now inspired rather than demotivated.
Use It To Pinpoint Your Own Motivations
Comparisons don’t arise without numerous motivations bubbling beneath the surface.
Uncovering those motivations will expose the underlying reasons for continually seeing how you stack up against others.
By determining your comparison triggers—those little moments that spark feelings of healthy competitiveness, or delight—you’ll affirm your values.
You can take hold of your comparison prompts—the circumstances and qualities in others that provoke the comparisons you make—and recognize why you’re making those connections in the first place.
You can, subsequently, observe the ideas you possess about yourself and others.
Is it another’s body shape or their strength level that matters? Is it the likes they get on their gym-selfies? Do those reveal insecurities about what you lack, or feel unable to attain? Do they even matter to you?
Pinpointing your motivations enables you to pacify those subsequent feelings, before they transform into counterproductive endeavors.
Our Food Body Self® program takes on social comparison.
Just as it takes on mindful eating, self-compassion, mindset, and emotional regulation, Food Body Self also helps you cultivate a positive and beneficial mindset around comparison.
No longer will you be stuck dealing with the negative effects of those you follow on Instagram, but you will be taught how to navigate making those comparisons and when to utilize them effectively.
Mastering this important component of your health and fitness journey is key to uncovering peace, freedom, and confidence around your eating and exercise behaviors.
References
1. Festinger, L. (1954). A Theory of Social Comparison Processes. Human Relations, 7(2), 117-140
2. Wills, T. A. (1981). Downward comparison principles in social psychology. Psychological Bulletin, 90(2), 245–271
3. Wood, J. V., Taylor, S. E., & Lichtman, R. R. (1985). Social comparison in adjustment to breast cancer. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 49(5), 1169–1183
4. Plante, T. G., Madden, M., Mann, S., Lee, G., Hardesty, A., Gable, N., Terry, A. & Kaplow, G. (2010). Effects of Perceived Fitness Level of Exercise Partner on Intensity of Exertion. Journal of Social Sciences, 6(1), 50-54.
5. Chou, H-T., & Edge, N. (2012). “They Are Happier and Having Better Lives than I Am”: The Impact of Using Facebook on Perception of Others’ Lives. Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, 15(2), 117-121.
6. Bozsik, F., Whisenhunt, B. L., Hudson, D. L., Bennett, B., & Lundgren, J. D. (2018). Thin is in? Think again: The rising importance of muscularity in the thin ideal female body. Sex Roles: A Journal of Research, 79(9-10), 609–615.
7. Mental Health Foundation (n.d.), Millions of men in the UK affected by body image issues – Mental Health Foundation survey. https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/news/millions-men-uk-affected-body-image-issues-mental-health-foundation-survey
8. Tiggemann, M., & Anderberg, I. (2019). Social media is not real: The effect of ‘Instagram vs reality’ images on women’s social comparison and body image. New Media & Society, 22(12), 2183-2199.
9. Vaterlaus, J.M., Patten, E.V., Roche, C., & Young, J.A. (2015). #Gettinghealthy: The perceived influence of social media on young adult health behaviors. Computers in Human Behavior, 45, 151-157.
10. Zhang, J., Brackbill, D., Yang, S., & Centola, D. (2015). Efficacy and causal mechanism of an online social media intervention to increase physical activity: Results of a randomized controlled trial. Preventive Medicine Reports, 2, 651-657.