When is the Right Time to STOP Dieting and Work on Your Relationship With Food?

How do you know it’s the right time to start working on your relationship with food?

It’s easy to put it off…

“I’m scared to stop dieting—I just want to lose 20 lbs first.”

“I don’t have time right now.”

“I don’t know where to start.”

And while these may all just be excuses, it can be hard to know what’s a valid reason to postpone any kind of work on ourselves and when we’re simply avoiding getting uncomfortable.

So how can you tell the difference between the two?

While there are no hard and fast rules, one general rule of thumb that I like to use is how much mental space your problem—or the solution—is taking up in your brain.

Here’s what I mean:

If how you’re eating is continually stressing you out—deciding what to eat, feeling guilty for overeating, mindlessly snacking, emotional or binge eating, feeling out of control and unable to stop yourself—your problem is taking up a lot of mental bandwidth.

Similarly, if you’re feeling fed up with yo-yo-ing, chronic dieting, or even with yourself, that’s a good indication that you’re nearing your rock bottom—which means a turning point is near.

Alternatively, if you find yourself getting more curious about how to stop these undesirable eating behaviors, either by reading articles, watching videos, or intentionally seeking out other information about healing your relationship with food, this curiosity is demonstrative of your motivation to change.

Excuses are a manifestation of your fears around changing, and they must be overcome in order to make any further progress.

So let’s take a look at some of the most common ones:

“I just want to lose X lbs first.”

I used this excuse for YEARS. I kept telling myself that once I hit my goal weight, I’d be able to stop dieting. I’d finally be able to relax.

But what happened in reality is that dieting was driving my disordered eating. Chronic restriction led to more and more frequent binge eating, and the harder I tried to lose weight, the more weight I gained, and the more desperate and hopeless I felt.

I know how easy it is to tell yourself, “I can stop dieting when…” but let me ask you this:

How is what you’ve been doing working out for you? Is it getting you closer to or further from where you’d like to be?

And I don’t just mean the weight you’d like to be, I’m also talking about how much mental space your body and the way you eat is taking up in your head.

It’s not easy for me to ask you tough questions like this, but I didn’t have anyone to do it for me, so I had to reach a point where I was utterly miserable before I was ready to try something different.

If I can save you from getting there, I’m willing to make both of us uncomfortable to do so.

“I don’t have time right now.”

I get it. We’re all busy. Many of us are chronically overwhelmed. And some of us are burnt out.

But I want to share with you the reality of the time investment: My students are able to transform their relationships with food in as little as 4 hours per month. The minimum commitment I ask for is 3 hour-long group calls each month, and one private session.

Anyone who wants to do more can spend time reading course material, listening to guided meditations, and embarking on “quests” to practice what they learn. But even those individuals who have only shown up for calls have made significant progress.

The average person spends 2.5 hours on social media PER DAY. That’s 75 hours per month. And most of the time, social media is making us feel worse, not better.

When we’re afraid to start, it’s easy to exaggerate the amount of time it will take to make a difference.

The benefit of this is, we feel justified in staying safe and comfortable. But the reality is, it doesn’t take a huge time investment to be worth it.

I’m not asking for 75 hours. Do you think you can find one hour a week—to change your life for the better?

“I don’t know where to start.”

One of my mentors taught me when you don’t have the answer within yourself, to ask, “Who do I know that I can ask for help?”

You’re not supposed to have all the answers. One of the greatest gifts of modern civilization is that we’re able to learn from those who have come before us, whether in the form of the written word or a mentorship.

There is a quote, sometimes attributed to Lao Tzu, sometimes to the Buddha, (and probably originated by neither) that goes:

“When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”

What are we to make of this?

I don’t believe in any “law of attraction” pseudoscience, but I do believe that when you reach a point of clarity in what you want, you will know who to choose in order to help you achieve that.

At this point, you’re probably waiting for me to tell you, “Here I am! Your long-awaited mentor. Pick me!”

But I’m not going to do that, and here’s why:

When you’re embarking on a journey of personal growth, especially one as personal as your relationship with food, your mentor should not only be a person who has been where you’ve been and reached a place where you would like to be…

…they should be someone who is aligned with your values. Find someone that you feel connected to. That might be me, or it might not.

But the connection you have with your coach is an incredibly important ingredient when it comes to the type of results you’re going to get. I’m not going to be the coach for everyone. And that’s okay.

If you enjoy reading my articles (which I hope you do, or why else would you be here?) but don’t want to have a conversation with me, that’s fine. I hope that you stick around as a reader, and if you’d like, I’d be happy to recommend some of my colleagues so that you can shop around.

My concern is not that you sign up to work with me, but that you get the help you need to achieve the results you want.

And, if you feel like I am someone that you’d like to talk to about what you’re going through, that’s when I’ll say: we’re waiting for you inside Food Body Self®.