You Can Learn to Embrace Discomfort
I am quite possibly one of the laziest and driven people I know.
I love comfort.
I’m a true hedonist. I like gourmet meals, hot baths, sleeping in, and binge-watching tv shows.
But I also get a lot done and enjoy the feeling of being productive. I coach. I write. I create. I work out. I sing. I take care of my plants. I read a book or two a week.
I love helping people, growing Ritual Coaching Collective, taking care of my body, and working on purposeless creative projects.
In other words…
I love discomfort.
But I had to do a lot of mindset work to go from lazy-lover to lazy-lover AND labor-lover.
This is a lesson that I’m not exaggerating when I say it took me decades to learn:
When it comes to doing uncomfortable things, the pleasure is in the discomfort. It’s in the challenge AND the reward.
As I said, I’m a big fan of pure comforts, like hot baths. I really love sitting in the tub until I’m as wrinkled as an elephant’s ass.
But I know that when I get out of the tub—that is, when I do something I don’t want to do, I will be rewarded twice.
First, with the satisfaction of overcoming a challenge, and second, with the rewards from my efforts.
For example, I spend around 4 hours per week at the gym. I feel good during the 4 hours I’m there because I enjoy lifting (reward #1), and I live in a strong, functional, body all 168 hours of the week (reward #2).
My progress in becoming someone who pushes myself to do uncomfortable things (and enjoys the process) is because I learned how to change my mindset.
In his research, psychologist Mihaly Czikszentmihalyi, discovered that it’s not when we’re engaging in hedonistic activities like watching tv that we’re the most happy, but rather when we’re engaging in activities that challenge us.
Effort itself can be more enjoyable than rest.
Pleasure is an important component of the quality of life, but by itself it does not bring happiness. Sleep, rest, food, and sex provide restorative homeostatic experiences that return consciousness to order after the needs of the body intrude and cause psychic entropy to occur. But they do not produce psychological growth.
- Mihaly Czikszentmihalyi, Flow
Challenge is something that not only contributes to our long-term well-being but also our short-term happiness—if you view it as beneficial and enjoyable. Which is one of the reasons why I incorporate changing your mindset as a major component of my coaching practice.
Take a challenge mindset, for example, which is essential for resilience.
Having worked with over 400 individuals on their fitness, nutrition, and mindset, I’ve found that when people hit an obstacle they either a) see the obstacle as a problem and do nothing, or b) see the obstacle as a challenge and seek out solutions.
Which path do you think leads to better results?
Looking at obstacles as challenges, obviously. What’s the underlying difference though? Here are three key differences between thinking of your obstacles as problems vs. challenges:
No one wants to deal with problems. But a challenge is something that can be faced. Challenges invite action, by implying that you have (or could learn) the skills necessary to engage with and overcome your obstacle.
When you’ve solved a problem, the only benefit is that you don’t have a problem anymore. When you’ve taken on a challenge, you’ve gotten a result, you’ve gotten stronger, or you’ve learned something.
The difference between a problem and a challenge is the level of personal responsibility you take. When you call something a problem, you throw up your hands. When something is a challenge, you accept that things won’t be easy, but there is still more you can try.
Learning to see obstacles as challenges is a matter of your mindset.
Just as learning to see effort as enjoyable is a matter of your mindset.
This doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy a good tv show or a bath every now and again.
But if you’re not seeing the results you want from your life right now, it’s time to get out of the tub.